Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Blue Times

I am God, and there is no other; I am God, and there is none like me. I make known the end from the beginning, from ancient times what is still to come. I say: My purpose will stand, and I will do all that I please. Is 46:9-10

Throughout the week a blanket of concern had settled across my shoulders. Every event ahead seemed over-weighted with worry---my son’s school, my daughter’s ultrasound, my wife’s mammogram, and the angry patient two days from now. It seemed as though the joy had leaked from my life. God was present in my brain but not my heart. So, I plodded through the week through each anxiety producing moment as, one by one, God worked them out and all was well.

Why are some weeks just blue? There are days when peace just seems to take a holiday, when depression or anxiety enters my life in spite of all my efforts to pray and trust. Perhaps that’s just the old man competing with my new nature, or perhaps it’s simply psychology and physiology doing their natural thing.

I thank God that he is not held captive by the emotions that capture me. When I am depressed, he is not. When I am paralyzed by anxiety, he is perfectly free to work out His will. When I am slogging through the mud, God moves unimpeded down the pathway of his plan.

I certainly wish that every day I could feel the “peace that passes understanding.” There certainly are steps I can take toward finding that peace: steps like trust, worship, obedience, thanksgiving and prayer.

Whatever the cause of my distress, it comforts me to know that God will work out his plan of love in my life even when I do not experience the joy of his presence. He will use my circumstances to write his redemption story even if I don’t feel like reading it that day.

I know as well that he wishes for me to continue in his service even when I feel like licking my wounds. With the knowledge of his relentless, loving plan, I find the strength, even in the blue times, to will my steps for Him, even when I miss the feel of his loving hand on my shoulder. His purpose continues and I can join Him, motivated sometimes by joy and sometimes by commitment.

Dear Father,
I know you love me. I know you are the source of all peace, comfort and joy. When life lies heavy on my soul, help me step forward into the relentless current of your will.

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