“Trust in God; trust also in me” (John 14:1b, NIV 1984).
Recently I was in Tirana, Albania, sitting in a small room adjacent to the student library with 11 Christian medical students. They asked us as Christian doctors to help them prepare for their witness to fellow Albanian students. My colleague, Dr. Mark Johnston, laid out six steps toward such witness. Within the discussion of one step Mark added, “Do your best to avoid sin.” In making this point Mark described the ways that sin may separate us from the Father and damage our witness. He then added, “The types of sin that will attract you will change as you go through life but you will never in this life be free from the pull of sin.”
When I look at my life as a Christian doctor, I can see that the sins of my youth are still present but are less severe. In their place have come sins that are equally strong in their pull away from the Lord, but different. For each of us as we travel through life, our greatest sins may vacillate from sexual immorality to greed, to pride, to unkindness, etc. But the pull toward sin will always be with us until we reach the other side, just like it was for the only man who never yielded, from the desert to the Cross.
My greatest sin presently, the thing that injures my relationship with Him most and presently keeps me most from becoming more like Jesus, is that I do not trust Him enough. There is an area of my life so dear that I clutch it to myself. There is an area of my life where, if God told me to completely let go and let Him work, I would presently say, “No.” I would fear that He might not come through and that I could not bear the consequence if He failed to accomplish my heartfelt desire. So, I will not let go; I will continue to try and fix things in this precious space of mine even if He tells me to take my hands off. I know this is direct disobedience and lack of trust and I am ashamed.
Praise God that this sin of mine is forgiven, just as were the different ones when I was young. Praise God that He still has time to work on me, to change me so that even this present sin may lessen its hold on me. Praise God that one day I will be like Jesus and that He will love me until then just as much as He loved me on the day He died.
Forgive me my sin. Let me trust you and help me obey.